What: The Star Trek: Next Generation DVD Menus
Where: In some kind of warp bubble, created by Wesley Crusher's experiments
How: I'm guessing Ferengi.
Is there anyone out there who doesn't know I'm watching Star Trek at the moment? That my favourite catch cry is 'Grow a beard, Riker'? Because if you are one of those people...then I'm sorry. I haven't been trying hard enough. I mean, I went out and bought the ENTIRE set of ST: The Next Generation dvds. Because I couldn't wait to find out what happens to them. I needed to know!
One thing that has been a constant source of confusion however are the menus. Specifically, the fact that they're usually stupidly hard to navigate. Considering I usually watch these eps at around 11pm or later, this is UNACCEPTABLE to my tired brain.
The episodes are in a jumbled order! It goes 175, 178, 177 and 176! I watched the one about Picard's brother and their quaint little English accented French vineyards before I watched the one about the stupid idiot child who makes dog noises! Sure it kind of made sense after the whole Borg assimilation thing, but...rarr! I want a pure progression of episodes, not this organic higgeldipiggeldy!
Wait, is it spoilers if its from something that happened a decade ago?
Anyway. This is not just a one off! They're fucking around with continuity all over the shop!
I think the DVDs are testing me. They know I'm formally a 'Wars not Trek' person. They can sense it. So they're testing that I can handle the pure science of Trek with a little observational exam.
Well FUCK YOU, TNG DVDs! I'm on to you!
Pros:
There are no pros besides the part where I can just press play and ignore this affront to continuity.
Cons:
Unsequential, eye hurting colours, bizarrely misleading short preview images. The stuff of nightmares!
Continuity: *
Confusion: ***
C-words Said: **
OVERALL: **
I'm not impressed, Mr Crusher.
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