What: Bright Red TightsFrom: welovecolors.com
Size: EE/ Very Fat Arsed
An inspired 'Oooh, it's Spring' moment this morning (read: I couldn't find my black tights) prompted me to pull out this new purchase and pull them on…right up to my underboob. Oh yes, I am THAT sexy. They truly are electro red. Usually a favourite of girls on their way to their grandmother's house in the woods, or happy little elves busily constructing toys that will be lovingly placed under a tree come Christmas, red tights are always a fashion risk. You don't have much option but to wear them with either a LOT of colour (ew) or black. I chose, and will always choose, black. For I am the Blunch Black of Blacktradame. Or perhaps I'm a recovering Goth.
But they are seriously retina burning, considering how good my calves look after all the exercise I've been getting lately (running late for work, attempting to practice mounting horses, inventive sexual positions) I think they look pretty good, yo.
The material itself is lycra somethingsomething (sheesh, facts, whatever) and the stretch is incredible. INCREDIBLE. And the material is soft, like stockings made from kittens. And, bonus points, my unshaved leghair doesn't poke through. They don't sag (seriously, they're up around my tits. If they sag, I have ISSUES) they haven't torn like so many other coloured tights, and the gusset isn't sitting around my thighs, repelled by my crotch.
The only real problem I do have is the up-around-the-bra-ness. Oh, and the fact that I have to buy them from America. Srsly, Australia, we have heaps of fat people here, it's not like you look around and only see…wait, ok, fine. But I for one would like places to stock fat arse stockings. Good ones. That don't cost $25 and come from Myer in black, black and unflattering pattern black. So while these are pretty cheap and I know from experience they’ll last a good long while, I'd KINDA like some CONVENIENCE here. What do you want me to do, get off my arse and DO something about it? Sheesh.
So lets rate the shit of these tights. For the sake of this being the first evar rating, remember this is out of 5 stars.
Durability: ****
Colour: *****
Stretch: epically over *****
Price: ****
OVERALL: *****
Yeah, I'm rating high betchez. I know, I'm a tramp, but these things are awesome. I am walking on radioactive sunshine. Dig it.
I have heard a lot about this brand in the blogosphere but kind of dismissed them out of hand because I don't really do colour-block tights. But kitten-soft? Hot damn, that sounds tempting! I have at least one pair like that already- solid white- which I cherish and never wear because they're so pristine, not to mention white.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I too an enjoying toned calves at present. We should get together and flash some ankle!
Oh how lewd!
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I highly recommend them. They are quite decent and worth the money to ship them here (I save up and do a big order, because it's $15 US to ship)